Please, let me fuck your mom
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
4 words: hood of his car
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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