That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
