dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
