Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
