Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
