just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize