id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
