i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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