So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
