guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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