goodnight i made you a song goodbye
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
