I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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