What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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