I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i out mim tonsoeep
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