i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
