So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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