I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
