Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
