Whod you bang
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
