There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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