when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
