I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
