if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
