two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
