I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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