is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
