Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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