I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
