She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
