after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
