I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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