U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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