Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
