We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
