It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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