Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
