We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
there is glitter all over my balls
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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