hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
soo... how was my night?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
