I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
