I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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