You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
