No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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