I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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