I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
