Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
