Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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