I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
