It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
