i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
