Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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