i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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