Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
