Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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