I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
