His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
