He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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