look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
