p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
