Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
