Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
