When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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