New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
