Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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