Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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