I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
