my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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