oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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